A VERY STRANGE DREAM…

I started walking into some sort of bank (I know it was a building of some kind), and when I got inside I realized that it was being held up by robbers. There were these stairs winding upwards, and it was up there that I could hear people screaming and the robbers yelling at them. I think at that moment my mom was with me, or my dad, I’m not sure; but we went up the stairs quietly to see what was happening, and as we poked our heads through, the thieves saw us and immediately grabbed us by the hair and dragged us to the floor. There, face down and with a gun pointed at the back of our heads, I felt an immense guilt for having gotten that person (mom or dad) into the situation. I was planning on how to break free when all of a sudden the guy who was holding the gun to the back of my head fell beside me after a deafening shot rang through the room. At first I thought I had been hit and was dying, but realized it was not so when he fell beside me. I looked up and saw some kind of Native, big and dark skinned with native paintings and tattoos all over his body and face, holding a machine gun he had taken from one of the thieves. He handed me a machine gun, too, and we shot two more thieves; then we ran out. I thanked him but he said nothing, and we both ran to supposedly get more weapons and bombs. But for some reason we ran to a supermarket, where we were sure we’d find the stuff.

But we didn’t, and instead we found ourselves asking the tellers if they had guns or if they knew what ingredients we needed to make home-made bombs. They said they didn’t so we grabbed some stuff like bug repellents and other types of sprays we thought made sense and headed outside (by this time, I think the native turned to my friend/dealer, Luxan). Anyways, we ran outside and were running through the streets, towards the bank or whatever it was. But as we passed a gated door, I stopped and demanded that he wait for me. He didnt. But I stopped at the door and knocked, and after a few seconds my cousin Adrian came out. And as soon as I saw him I felt despair. I knew what I was going to find inside, and I didnt want to see it; but I went in anyways.

(This part is crude. It was my dream, and don’t know where it came from).

He had been fucking my ex-girlfriend – we’ll call her V – and she was spread out on the bed, demanding that he get back to her. I was crying my eyes out and yelling and I was asking him why he would do such a thing to me because he knew how much I loved her. I remember that moments before that – in fact, before the bank robbery – I had been with her; I had been talking to her, trying to get her attention, as she mingled with other people in some building. She was wearing a long red dress, and for some reason at one point I pulled her close to me, hugged her and started kissing her lips. She kissed me back, and we fooled around for a little while…but all that was ephemeral…it disappeared just as soon as it had started, and from there I decided to walk in the building that was being robbed. So by this time, in his apartment, with V on the bed demanding him to get back, I was in complete shock and horror. I remember him trying to comfort me, reminding me that it was over between me and her; that there was nothing left there, anyways; and I said, looking at both V and him, “how could you guys do this to me??…I was just with you V! did that not mean anything?!?”…I looked at him and said with tears in my eyes, “well, you might as well let me finish her off,” to which he replied, “hmmm…alright…it only seems fair…V, let him finish you off”…At first she hesistated and said no, but after his insisting she said “fine” in a frigid voice. She had an expression on her face of utter disinterest, as if she didn’t care either way, and just simply laid there, waiting for the act to be over. She was still wearing the red dress, but it was pulled up from her waist so that only the glory between her legs was visible. I laid on top of her, not touching her, with my arms stretched by her sides. As I slowly pushed my head down to kiss her I could feel a million memories flooding my brain. But she turned her head away and said not to kiss her; “just fuck me and get it over with.” I looked downwards to penetrate her cave with my erect sword, but realized her vagina was like some kind of creature becoming alive. It was moving and inviting me in, but to kill me!…It was as if it had revolving teeth. So I pulled myself up hastily and just sat there on the bed, crying. I then went to my cousin, who was just watching, and said something I can’t remember now….

After all that that I left and went back to the place that was being robbed, only now it was some kind of school. I walked aimlessly through halls, utterly lost but somehow knowing exactly where I had to go. It was some sort of history class that was about to begin, and I knew I had to be there. So I went in and took a seat while some people in the front of the class were preparing to do some kind of presentation. I sat beside Adrian, and beside him was V. I remember feeling a lot of resentment, anxiety and anger, but I said nothing. They both talked to me normally, trying to consol me, but I would just ignore them, with tears building around my eyes and fire inside my stomach. Eventually I could take it no more and I got up and walked outside, where I found a cart with all kinds of sweets, breads, foods, etc. So I grabbed a plate and filled it with as many things as I could get my hands on. I then went back inside and sat beside them after walking in circles around the room for a while. When I sat down I suddenly couldn’t find all that food that I had collected, and became insane with ire looking for it. I don’t remember whether they were laughing at me or helping me look for it; but I remember feeling extremely awkward, angry, sad, and all types of feelings….except any positive ones!

I then found three plates of food on top of my desk, which for some reason I had failed to search, and began eating. The food, which looked like hamburgers but was stuffed with all kinds of shit, sweets, meats and bugs, and therefore was extremely difficult to swallow. But I kept eating it anyways. At that moment one of the presentations that the people at the front were getting ready for began. The teacher asked me to move a cable that was on the way or turn off the lights or something like that. I went do so, and as I did it I starred intensely at them: sitting, chatting and laughing. I do not remember the rest, but I think it ended with me looking at them or only V, and crying desperately, with an incapacitating heaviness in my chest. I don’t really remember the exact ending, however.

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